About two months ago, a relative of mine suddenly got very sick. He somehow contracted brain menengitis, and between getting him to the hospital, seeing him through surgery, and caring for his kids, the resultant drama consumed my family for a few days.
In the aftermath, I wanted to thank a few family members for their help, and I wanted to send my relative and his family some get-well wishes. When I mentioned this to my mother, she said something to me that I found strange:
"Why don't you send them an e-card?"
Now, to me, an e-card is sort of a disposable thing. A quick, cutesy, animated greeting that you send to teenagers on their birthday or that you get from your aging grandmother who's still trying to master the internet and constantly sends everyone e-mail forwards full of old jokes and pictures of kittens. An e-card doesn't seem to be an appropriate thing to send during a serious or meaningful event.
But every other member of the family I ran this by also agreed. "Oh, yeah, just shoot them an e-card".
And then I started to wonder: am I old-fashioned?
It took me the longest time to switch from film to digital photos. I still struggle with accepting a cellphone into my daily life. I am, in many ways, definitely tech-leery and old-fashioned. But really -- e-cards aren't cheesy anymore? Did I miss another sea-change of the digital world altering what people consider appropriate, or am I the only sane person left in a world of folks who turn to the internet first for the solution to everything?
The way I see it -- it takes time and effort to send a real, paper card. You go to the store, you pick out just the right one, you write in it, you mail it. You spend a little money and the recipient has an actual paper item they can cherish forever. E-cards, on the other hand, can be done with a few clicks on your laptop while you sit in your living room eating cheez-its, they don't cost you a penny, and they vanish after a month or so.
If you went through a big life event -- a graduation, a marriage, a child, a death in the family -- would you be happy if a relative sent you an e-card? Or would you feel a little slighted, like your loved ones couldn't be bothered to put down the cheez-its and leave the house?
I don't know. What do you folks think? Are e-cards now an acceptable method of sending congratulations/celebrations/condolensces? Or should they be reserved for lighthearted, casual greetings and unimportant, silly occasions? I've heard my family's opinion -- now I'm curious to hear the thoughts of my peers.
-Jeph
(Since it seems no post here is complete without a link, here's the site I generally use for e-cards: Blue Mountain .)
(Oh, and as a P.S.: my relative is more or less fine now. He's got a shunt in his brain to deal with residual excess fluid buildup, but he's home from the hospital and his kids are delighted to have him back. So no need to send him any e-cards...) :p
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5 comments:
I agree—that a real, paper card is always best for important occasions. But for the times you just can't get it in time, or for casual acquaintances, e-cards definitely save the day. It also depends on how tech-saavy or (un)sentimental the receiver is.
Plus, some of the e-cards have neat interactive qualities, that real cards don't have—such as fun animations or items you can drag and click.
There's definitely a trade-off, just as there is with reading the news on the internet or in print.
So, I wouldn't say you're too old-fashioned. But do try to accept that the age of the cell phone is here to stay :).
—Hana
I agree that e-cards are less fitting for a serious event like your example (that being said, I've gotten in big trouble when I didn't send "at least an e-card" for my dad's birthday). But here's another option: email. I think that anything that shows time and effort spent crafting a note is meaningful. Whether that comes handwritten on paper or electronically to avoid increasing postage costs doesn't matter to me.
I got a Christmas card this year where it was a just a store-bought card with the person's name signed at the end. What's the point? It goes straight in the recycling bin. Paper can carry more weight, but it's not necessarily the case.
Content uber alles. It's the content thought that matters. The delivery medium is secondary. A well crafted e-note will mean more than the aforementioned X-Mas card with little other than a name on it. If there's no time to run to the store and post office better to send an e-note than nothing at all.
I agree a real card is always best. I keep assorted note cards around and always send one out when I need to say a quick thank you. I also still write old-fashioned letters. Every week I send a hand-written letter to my Grandmother detailing my week and what new things my son has learned. I still send hand-written thank you notes for gifts. I leave my neighbors thank you notes when they've done a favor for me or my family. It's such a small thing but people really appreciate the time it takes to send a hand-written missive rather than shooting off another email from your blackberry (not that I'm not guilty of doing that sometimes). Always go with a card or note when dealing with family and personal issues. It just means more. - Molly
Jeph, I agree with your initial reaction. Thank yous and get-wells are better communicated with a paper card. I am momentarily giddy when I glance personal mail mixed in with the bills.
It's hard to keep up with one's email, and not responding to personal emails quickly enough is always on my what-guilts-me list.
Plus, as with most technology, e-cards are a double-edged sword. My mom sends one to my fiance and me every few months. They are, while heartfelt, always silly animations by the same e-card "artist". My mom can see when he doesn't click on the link, and I can expect a call a few days later asking why he didn't even open the e-card. Ahh! At least your loved one will never find out if one doesn't open a paper thank you note.
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